For most of my life, I was a total wuss when it came to anything scary, and by scary, I mean anything a small child might find terrifying. My mom let me catch a glimpse of Hellraiser as a child, and I spent many, many nights taking my revenge – and her sleep – crying to her about my nightmares. I watched my first scary movie at 17 – not by choice. It was Silent Hill – also not my choice – and it opened me up to the idea that scary movies aren’t that scary.
As interesting as I find the dark, some movies are still off limits. No possession, no haunted houses, no aliens. Like I said, total wuss. So for those of you out there who share my feelings on the matter, I’ve got a few soft-core to hard-gore “scary” movies you can enjoy without having to worry about the bumps in the night keeping you awake.
Night Watch (or Nochnoi Dozor) is a Russian great. While it teeters more towards fantasy than scary, there are definitely some terrifying aspects to it. It centers on the battle between the forces that control daytime and nighttime. While the storyline itself won’t keep you up at night, the style and imagery is definitely what nightmares are made of. Day Watch is the second movie in the series. A third, Dusk Watch, still has not been – and may never be – produced.
Dumplings is a film produced by Fruit Chan, based on his original short featured in Three…Extremes. A neglected wife’s search for a way to retain her youth, as well as the attention of her husband, brings her to Aunt Mei’s doorstep. Aunt Mei’s secret recipe for dumplings wildly succeeds in its purpose, driving the wife to find more devious means to get her fix.
Lost Highway is one of those movies that gave me a weird feeling for days after watching it. While it isn’t explicitly terrifying, it’s bizarre. The main character is framed for the murder of his wife, and becomes a completely different person, physically, while in jail. The rest of the movie kind of spins out of control after that. The Mystery Man alone if enough reason to have nightmares, but it’s counter-balanced with Marilyn Manson and Twiggy Ramirez’s roles as porn stars.
The Machinist is a movie that is sure to make a few of you squirm. It’s the uncomfortable descent into insanity for a man who has not slept in a year due to his insomnia. This isn’t horror – not even close – but if I had seen glimpses of it as a child, it would have scared (and scarred) me. Even as an adult, the idea of losing control over my sanity terrifies me.
The Thing is a classic horror film. My best friend made me watch it, and we spent the whole time giggling at the special effects. The idea as a whole is pretty frightening, but I loved it; I loved it so much, I was offended by the remake in 2011. Fortunately, the remake is actually a prologue under the same name and was tolerable. This movie isn’t really terrifying unless you plan on making a trip to the Arctic in the near future or are afraid of special effects from the 1980s.
Sick Nurses is a Thai horror film following the demise of a doctor and his seven nurses who illegally harvest and sell organs. When one of them is murdered for threatening to go public with the truth, she comes back to exact her revenge. It’s gory and bloody, but it’s also packed with emotional flashbacks reflecting the true relationship between her and her colleagues.
28 Days Later might be one of the more well known movies on this list. It is terrifying: you hold your breath and try to still your racing heart as you watch it. I felt agoraphobic the first time I saw it. It thrills with the search for safety, rather than disgusts with blood and gore.
The Devil’s Rejects is probably one of my all-time-favorite-fuck-you-this-movie-is-the-tits movies ever. If you have an issue with clowns, don’t watch it. If you have an issue with crazy murderous rednecks, don’t watch it. But if you like the macabre and gory, this is a fucking awesome movie. The film is a masterpiece, if you ask me, from beginning until bullet-riddled end. I’m from the South, so it’s totally okay to yell, “FREE BIRD!” (and request it at bars). Seriously though, no one gets to piss their pants over a movie that ends with “Free Bird.”
The Devil’s Chair is a bad trip. The main character drops acid with his girl in an abandoned insane asylum and she ends up dead. After spending years in jail, he is brought to the asylum by a doctor who is intent on exposing the truth of the murder. No one is prepared for the bloody secrets the asylum holds. Gory and terrifying, this movie will have you on the edge of your seat (or huddled under a blanket) until the very end. And be sure to watch until the end, you’ll never see it coming.
