Anal play can be pleasurable for both sexes because there’s a ton of nerve endings back there. G-spots and prostate glands exist, and they need love every now and again.
Let’s just get this out of the way: liking ass play doesn’t make a dude gay, so ladies out there don’t need to worry that their man’s on the down-low or in denial if he asks for a little backdoor action. Some people really fancy a little attention there regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Plus, power exchange can be super thrilling!
Butt stuff can actually be very healthy when it’s done correctly. There are rumors out there that bottoming will cause incontinence when you’re older, but that’s all garbage. If you’re lubed up, relaxed, and not trying to shove something enormous up your hiney, you should be okay. That being said, not using lube, being tense, and trying to sit on a fire hydrant will probably cause permanent damage.
There’s some evidence that suggests regularly engaging in safe butt sex will strengthen the muscles in your sphincter, so not only will you not crap your pants, you’d be able to carry something heavy, like a bunch of books, or a baby. But please don’t. Your colon is not a backpack.
Lube is of utmost importance when inserting things into your brown Rolls Royce area. The rectum doesn’t lubricate itself like a vagina, so it’s important to help it out.
I’ve written a handy-dandy lube guide that you’re welcome to check out. Lubing up will make anal penetration far more enjoyable for everyone involved, so don’t leave home without it.
If you’re considering putting something into your butt that is not attached to another person (like a penis or fingers, or I guess an especially long nose), make sure it has a sturdy base. At the end of a vagina, there’s a cervix which stops foreign objects from going any further, despite what your panicked friend in 7th grade said about her tampon. This is not the case with a rectum. There are plenty of websites full of x-rays of when people got the bright idea to shove a lightbulb or jar of hot sauce up their bunghole.
It’s got to be a really awkward trip to the emergency room, so save yourself the embarrassment and make sure there’s a sturdy handle that won’t go past the outer sphincter and allow the toy to swim too far upstream. Keep a grip on that puppy.
Speaking of puppies, please don’t put animals like hamsters into your butt. I feel like that should be self-evident, but I have internet access, and I know the terrible intersection between human imagination and stupidity.
Some people get really nervous that they or their partner are going to poop all over the place. That’s really in the “catchers” ballpark, and the following message is for them: if it feels like you need to poop before any anal action, you’re at high risk for making a mess. If you’ve had a nice poop earlier in the day, go ahead and give your butt a little wash up before heading to Brown Town. Maybe even lube up a finger and clean it out gently, but fecal matter should be minimal at this point. There may be a little bit left in the rectum, but if you’re super worried just wear a condom. Condom usage is never a bad idea.
Wanna know what’s a bad idea? Putting something into an asshole and then into a vagina. Bunghole bacteria are very likely to make vaginas spazz the fuck out and develop a yeast infection – or worse. That’s why girls should wipe from front to back. A lot of porn makes double dipping seem like no big deal, but I’m telling you it is.
Please don’t use porn for basic sex education.
Some people like to use an enema prior to anal sex. Gently spraying warm water into your butt can help make sure the pipes are clean, but that can dry out the natural mucus secretions of your colon (colons are self-lubing, but anuses are not, and that’s really the part that counts for our purposes), so it’s not a good idea to do it daily.
If you go the enema route, use extra lube just to be safe.
Maybe you don’t want to put anything inside of a butt, you just want to eat the booty like groceries. In that case, it’s only polite for the receiver to make sure their butt is clean prior to analingus. Wet wipes do a mighty fine job. Some people are squeamish about ass-to-mouth, so feel free to use a dental dam or a piece of cheap plastic wrap. Just make sure you commit one side to ass, one side to mouth. Again, it’s never a bad idea to use a barrier method, especially if you or your partner have not been tested recently.
Like all aspects of sex and sexuality, it’s really important to communicate with your partner(s) and make sure everyone is on the same page. While anal sex can be really pleasurable, it can hurt like hell if it comes unexpectedly. It’s really not cool to ram something in anyone’s holes if they’re not expecting it or don’t want it, and by “really not cool,” I mean “sexual assault.”
If it’s someone’s first time, they can be a little nervous and tense up. It really should not hurt. If it hurts, it’s time to slow down, lube up, and maybe move to a different activity until everyone feels like trying again. I’m really wary about the use of numbing creams. It’s important to feel if something hurts so you know to stop and figure out where it’s going wrong.
Most importantly, communicate your desires to your partner, lube up, and relax when engaging in anal play. Make sure you can get whatever you’re putting into the butt out, wear a condom, and get tested frequently.
Don’t forget to have fun!
