Trans people have been around since humans started writing shit down, so it really shouldn’t be mind-blowing; but somewhere in our collective human history, only having two genders based on people’s genitals became the standard. Some cultures make a space for non-binary people, such as the hijra of India or the kathoey of Thailand, but most societies, even ones that acknowledge multiple genders, treat non-binary people as less-than.
Now that there are prominent trans folks in the media, there’s some recognition that all people don’t fit neatly into pink or blue boxes. While this has brought greater visibility to trans and nonbinary people, it’s also brought greater visibility to ignorant and hateful people. There are many different identities out there, which mean different things to the people who live them. To dig a bit deeper, I spoke to a few trans folk, a crossdresser, and a couple of drag queens about who they are.
As a brief primer, “trans” or “transgender” are umbrella terms that a lot of identities fall under, but generally they signify “crossing over” into a different gender. “Cisgender” folks agree with the gender designation they were given based off of their genitals at birth, i.e., the whole ‘men have penises, women have vaginas’ thing. The terms “MtF” and “transwoman” signify that the person was born with a penis and now lives as a woman. Likewise, “FtM” and “transman” were born with vulvas and identify as men. Trans folks experience gender dysphoria, meaning they don’t feel right in the gender they’ve been assigned. Kind of like wearing clothes that someone else picks out for you, except way more serious, and way more painful.
Outside of Dr. Frank-N-Furter, hardly anyone says “transsexual” anymore. It used to distinguish the subset of trans people who pursue surgery, which can be incredibly expensive and hard to obtain. It’s not an option for everyone, and some people don’t feel the need to jump through those hoops.
Don’t be a dick, though. If someone uses the term “transsexual” to identify themselves, that’s their thing. It’s just not nearly as common as “transgender” these days.
Sadly, trans people, particularly trans women of color, face horrendous violence on a regular basis. They are most likely to be victims of a hate crime and are often discriminated against when seeking housing or employment. Violence is so common there’s a holiday, Trans Day of Remembrance (November 20th), to mourn those who have been lost each year. It’s beyond horrible that people are murdered just for being who they are. Due to transphobia and lack of familial and peer support, 41% of trans people attempt suicide. That’s why learning about this stuff is important for everyone. We can all be better to one another.
Michelle: A Trans Woman
For many trans folks, their gender dysphoria begins early. Michelle Wolf knew there was something wrong with the male identity she was prescribed by the time she was four years old. She was discouraged from exploring her femininity and admonished for wanting to be Batgirl, (who became a well-known trans ally in the comic world in 2013). “I started cross-dressing soon after by pulling pantyhose out of the cigarette-filled trash can in my parents room. Soon after, I began raiding the Goodwill bag and building up a stash. My first purchase was a pair of shiny purple tights in 6th grade, and I was certain I would be shot on sight.”
Growing up trans isn’t exactly a cake walk. “I first realized my identity for sure at age 12 when I fully dressed for the first time, saw myself in the mirror, freaked out, and threw everything away. I went through multiple iterations of succumbing to female identity, freaking, purging, and throwing myself into “male” activities–sports, Boy Scouts, military–all of which I loathed.” After leaving the Air Force, Michelle again tried to be “a man” by getting married and having a kid.
But suppressing gender identity isn’t sustainable. After a while, Michelle had resumed cross-dressing, although now she had greater clarity that the focus was on her and not the clothes. She talked to her marriage counselor and her wife about who she really is and was formally assessed as being gender dysphoric. Michelle came out and began her transition with Hormone Replacement Therapy in 2011. “All of my family and most of my friends stuck with me, though I lost a few close friends who are not at all missed. I kept my marriage alive (though very much altered) with incredibly hard work and the help of a great therapist.” Michelle was super lucky that her work insurance covered much of the surgical expenses for her transition. “There was never a moment of regret since, except perhaps in Port-a-Johns.”
Dan*: A Crossdresser
Crossdressing can be a step towards a trans identity, but it is also a practice that some cisgender people do. Eddie Izzard is a famous crossdresser (CD), comedian, and aspiring London politician. He explains being a CD pretty succinctly:
Dan* (name changed) is a straight, cisgender guy who happens to really love wearing skater skirts and pretty underwear. He mainly practices what he calls “underdressing,” or wearing women’s undergarments under his clothing because he enjoys the subversive nature of knowing he’s wearing frilly underthings to work. Women buy pretty underwear to feel good about themselves. So does Dan, he’s just not their target market.
A lot of trans people will cross-dress before they come out, but it’s not the same as being a CD. The difference is the focus: crossdressers tend to find the practice titillating while trans people don’t find sexual enjoyment from it. To trans people, the clothes are just clothes, it doesn’t make them horny.
Dan had always enjoyed long socks and leggings, but didn’t explore his urges until he got into a relationship with an open-minded partner. Crossdressing started out as an occasional kink, but soon became an everyday thing once he found a community of like-minded friends. It’s become a big part of Dan’s life and sharing his story with others has helped other men explore their own inner femininity.
Shawn: A Drag Queen
On the surface, Drag looks a lot like cross-dressing, but it is an altogether different beast. I spoke with Shawn Jenner, who performs as Veronica Lace and currently holds the title of Miss Queen City. Shawn, a cisgender gay man, has been a drag performer for the past seven years. As the only gay kid in a small Western NY school, drag was an affirming creative outlet.
Becoming a drag queen meant exploring his femininity, which was petrifying. “I was very intrigued but also scared. I’m coming from the country doing sports my whole life and becoming this feminine character, but how do I do that? How do you walk like a woman? How do you act like a woman? You need to figure it out or you’re gonna look like a dinosaur out there!” He’s constantly exploring his character, Veronica, who has helped shape him into a charismatic activist. Drag performers get a look at the vices and the blessings of the gay community and this has inspired Shawn to become a substance abuse counselor, a PrEP spokesman, and a member of the Imperial Court of Buffalo, which raises money for charities combating HIV.
Liam: From Drag King to Trans Man
Sometimes, a performer realizes that their persona on stage is a lot closer to who they really are. There’s this rad concept called “gender fluidity,” which acknowledges that people often don’t stay the same throughout their entire existence. Liam Rebel, a bartender at a prominent gay club in Buffalo, NY lived this. The label of “lesbian” never quite fit Liam, so sometimes he referred to himself as genderqueer. After he got into the local drag scene and adopted his drag king persona, Ray Bell, masculinity and being a man fit more for him than being a woman or a lesbian ever did. After coming out as a trans man, he stopped performing as Ray Bell, because to him his drag king identity insinuates he is a woman playing a man. Ray Bell was an act, but his identity as a trans man comes from somewhere deeper and is who Liam is through and through.
Khrys: From Drag Performer to Trans Woman
Khrys Jackson also found herself through drag. Prior to coming out, Khrys’s dysphoria spiraled into a deep depression. “I decided to live my life to my parameters, and there was drag staring me in the face…It was the opportunity to perform in a way I had never done before while validating my identity and all the while flexing and honing the talents I (had already) learned.” While she enjoyed parts of drag performance, Khrys often felt out of place due to racism and transphobia, so she channeled her talents into music and visual art instead. Despite negative experiences, she is vocal about the history of drag, which has a rich, often overlooked history rooted deeply in struggles for liberation. “So much of drag comes out of transgressing the existing colonial cultural sanctions of gender, the binary of man and woman, and the marked erasure of everyone in between; not understanding the historical implications of gender and its intersections with race, class, and gender will be to miss the point of drag completely.”
Naomi: Genderfluid, Genderqueer, Genderfucked, Drag Queen
Whoever said that people have to be one gender or the other? There are tons of people who identify as something in-between or altogether different than either “man” or “woman.” Naomi Munroe, a drag performer from Atlanta, has a few things to say on the subject. Naomi identifies as “Non-Binary” which they see as the umbrella under the umbrella of trans. Naomi uses they/their pronouns and explains, “it just means I don’t do that binary shit.” Naomi also embraces the terms Genderqueer (“because I love the power of taking the word ‘queer’ back”), Genderfluid (“because I feel constantly in a state of flux”), and Genderfucked (“because explaining this to most people is fucking frustrating… living in a whitesupremacistcisgenderheteronormative society is fucking frustrating”).
“I’d sensed my fluidity from an early age… I was ‘heavily encouraged’ to wear dresses, and sometimes I loved it, sometimes I hated it, sometimes I felt awkward. This initial unease developed into an acute sense as I got older. Being so aware of my otherness in mostly white/straight/cis schools made me pay attention to myself.” Since gender dysphoria travels in multiple directions for Naomi, they don’t have a singular longing to be something; instead, their identity is constantly shifting and evolving. “If my gender dysphoria had a genre, it’s surf. I feel like I’m just riding the waves of my weather.”
Naomi’s fluidity may feel isolating at times, but it’s a locus of creative energy. Naomi performs drag under the name Koochie-Koochie Ku, which is their own personal “fuck you” to the klan and a little joke about how it “takes baby steps for people to understand gender sometimes.” For Naomi, Koochie-Koochie Ku isn’t a compartmentalized piece of them. “Koochie’s not entirely separate, but more a spirit that fuels and possesses me. It’s a spirit of all the combined forces of all the queerness of my legacy and uses my body as vessel, like a less sucky version of Phoenix from X-Men.”
Drag is one way that Naomi echoes the queerness of their ancestors, known and unknown, as well as performers that have influenced their expression, from Eartha Kitt to David Bowie. Naomi has fought to keep the title Drag Queen: “Though it is limiting in the context of my androgyny, I am here for femme supremacy. Even my most masc self is here for the dismantling of femme erasure.” Naomi has taken a break lately from the local drag scene, but is still active in Southern Fried Queer Pride.
As you can see, gender and gender identity are many-splendored things. It’s pretty neat that we live in a time where people are starting to be vocal about who they are and what they’re about instead of being forced into metaphorical shame-closets. At the end of the day, everyone just wants to be respected. So whether you’re cisgender, trans, genderqueer, or something altogether different, I hope you can go be your bad selves unabashedly. At the very least, be kind to those who are.
A billion thanks to all my contributors! You can keep up with Michelle’s blog and Khrys’s music!
Top photo credit: Naomi Munroe
