At some point in most people’s lives, they’ll decide to put something into their vagina or their butt. It’s a fact. Lube can make this a far more enjoyable experience but there are so many products out there that it’s easy to get confused and overwhelmed with information. That’s where this handy-dandy guide comes in.
“Why use lube at all?” you ask. “Can’t I just spit on it?”
On the surface, spit can be an okay method in a pinch but I wouldn’t make a practice of it. The human mouth has a lot of bacteria chilling out in it, which can upset some vaginas. The LAST thing you want to do is upset a vagina. Spit also doesn’t really hold up after a while. With enough time, skill, and luck a vagina can get excited enough to produce enough natural lubricant, but this probably won’t be the case for marathon sex. Butts, on the other hand, don’t make anything that you’d want to use as lube, so you’ll definitely need to hit the drugstore beforehand. I’ll have a whole article on butt stuff safety at a later date, so stay tuned.
So if an orifice is dry and you’re intent on cramming something in it, use lube. If you don’t, you run the risk of really hurting the hole. The surrounding tissue can get tears. Fissures are going to hurt like hell, maybe even bleed, and make spreading STI’s a whole hell of a lot easier. Tears can lead to infections or even scarring, which could eventually cause desensitization, which is just plain sad and definitely un-sexy.
Vaginas can be really sensitive creatures. For the love of all that is holy, do not put sugary stuff into a vagina, unless you’re really into yeast infections and a lot of complaining. If you’re into flavored lubricants make sure they’re sugar-free. If the vagina in question gets upset with scented tampons, pads, or detergents, look for something unscented and unflavored.
Water-based lubricant is a great starting point. It’s gentle and safe with toys and latex condoms. You can find water-based lubricant in all sorts of brands, flavors, warming, tingly, whatever. Water-based lubes can be as exciting or un-intrusive as you prefer, so don’t be afraid to shop around.
Oil-based lubricant lasts way longer than water-based, so it’s good for marathon boning. It will also stay slick in the water longer than a water-based lubricant, so if you’re into sex in the water, this can be an excellent choice. The drawback of oil-based lubricants is that THEY WILL DESTROY LATEX CONDOMS. I put that in all-caps for you skimmers. If you’re using a latex barrier method, stay far, far away from oil-based lubes.
I know you’re probably using coconut oil to condition your hair, brush your teeth, clear your skin, wax your car, and do your taxes, but now you can use it for BONING. That’s right, coconut oil is an excellent lubricant. Again, NOT latex condom friendly, but it is very gentle and long-lasting.
Silicone-Based lubricants feel a lot like oil-based. They also happen to be condom safe, excellent for water play, and are generally hypoallergenic. The drawback for silicone lubricants is that they will destroy silicone sex toys. They’re okay for hard toys that are not made out of silicone, but will break down the lining of softer toys. Basically, if you don’t know for sure what a sex toy is made of, don’t throw silicone lube on it. It could be an expensive mistake.
Now you can turn yourself and all of your friends into big Slip-n-Slides. Just make sure they’re okay with that and use protection. Have fun out there!
