Hey, great news! The President of the United States did not nuke Iran this week! He didn’t even blow up all their bridges. The bad news is, the ceasefire agreement cut out a nice spot for Israel to keep committing crimes against humanity, gas prices will make you fucking choke, everything is pretty bad, and there are still one or two ring girls* still prancing around Mar-a-Lago, so this shit ain’t over.** So what do you do when a melting orange man with a bad hairpiece is feeding you a steady diet of terror, and it’s increasingly hard to regulate? Well, here at Dirge, we get in the car***, turn the stereo all the way up, and scream as loud as we can (sometimes to the lyrics and sometimes just… screaming). Here’s our list of the top songs to scream with when the world is ending. (Get the complete playlist here).
We open with “Ha Ha Ha” by The Julie Ruin, a song that has never once been played at a reasonable volume in my car. Kathleen Hanna’s vocals really get to the heart of the matter – a useless person who thinks they’re the center of the universe, being mad as hell, and Armageddon. Perfect song for screaming along to in the car (I should know, it’s a load-bearing pillar of my mental health and wellness).
Now that we’ve gotten that out of our system, maybe it’s time for one that isn’t so on-the-orange-nose. Passing the mic to Lux Interior for our hardcore car karaoke, it’s “A New Kind of Kick.” While I’m not sure I believe Lux stopped learning at the age of nine, we are in a country run by people with lesser impulse control, and I would kill for any kind of kick that could make me blissfully ignorant of current events.
Next up, Rage Against the Machine, because no shit. Do I need to tell you why this one fits?
If you haven’t turned the volume up all the way yet, it’s time. If you’re not using the sounds of The Dead Pioneers singing about beating the shit out of Nazis to block out the insanity of the world, I’m assuming it’s because you’ve never heard their song, “Nazi Teeth.” Well, here it is. Turn the fucking stereo up!
One to close us out with a little hope (if you want the full playlist, just click here). “London Calling” by The Clash. Doesn’t sound hopeful to you? Well, just consider that this is how Joe Strummer felt in 1979, and we’re still here to feel this way in 2026. That sounded more hopeful before I wrote it down, actually. But, you know…
*Fuck off, Bondi & Noem, I guess you learned the hard way that they don’t like the “right” kind of women, either.
**TBH, we have no fucking idea what’s going on. The news changed as this was written.
***Gas prices being what they are, if you can’t afford a good car scream on the road, your driveway is fine.
